Parental Alienation: What It Means and How to Deal With It

When you're going through a separation or divorce, your children are at the heart of everything. Sadly, sometimes one parent may try to turn the children against the other. This is known as parental alienation.

If you're worried this might be happening to you, you're not alone. It can feel frightening, unfair, and confusing — especially when you see your child's attitude towards you suddenly change. The good news is that there are steps you can take, both legally and practically, to protect your relationship with your child.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation happens when one parent influences a child to unfairly reject or resent the other parent. This can include making negative comments about them, exaggerating their faults, or even creating false stories. Over time, the child may start copying these views, refusing to spend time with the parent, or showing sudden anger or fear.

It's important to remember that not every disagreement or upset between a parent and child is alienation. Children can feel angry or withdrawn during a separation for many reasons. But when there's a clear pattern of one parent deliberately damaging the child's relationship with the other, it becomes a serious issue.

Signs to Look Out For

It's not always easy to know if your child's behaviour is a normal reaction to family changes or something more serious. Here are some signs that may suggest parental alienation is happening:

  • Your child starts refusing to see you with little or no reason.
  • They repeat phrases or opinions that sound more like the other parent's words than their own.
  • They show extreme loyalty to one parent while rejecting the other without cause.
  • They don't feel guilty about being unkind to you.
  • They share details about adult arguments or legal matters that they wouldn't normally know.

If you recognise some of these behaviours, it doesn't automatically mean parental alienation is taking place — but it's worth taking seriously and seeking advice.

How It Affects Children

The biggest tragedy of parental alienation is the impact it has on children. When they're caught in the middle of conflict, they may feel pressured to 'take sides'. This can cause long-term emotional harm, such as:

  • Anxiety and depression.
  • Low self-esteem and confusion about their identity.
  • Problems trusting others in the future.
  • Strained or broken family relationships that last into adulthood.

Children benefit from having a strong and healthy relationship with both parents wherever possible. That's why the family courts — and family solicitors like us — treat cases of parental alienation very seriously.

What You Can Do If You Suspect Parental Alienation

If you believe your child is being alienated from you, here are some steps to consider:

  1. Keep a record - Note down dates, behaviours, and examples of concerning comments. A diary can be a useful tool for this. Keep copies of any messages or emails that might show what's happening.
  2. Stay calm - Reacting with anger towards your child or ex-partner may make things worse. Try to remain steady, even when it's difficult.
  3. Talk to your child - Keep communication open and reassuring. Let them know you love them and that it's safe to share their feelings with you.
  4. Consider mediation - Sometimes a neutral third party can help parents resolve issues before they become more serious or consider professional mediation.
  5. Get legal advice - If the problem continues, speaking to a family solicitor can help you understand your options. This may include applying to the court to protect your time with your child.

Legal Options in the UK

In the UK, the family courts aim to put the child's welfare first. If parental alienation is suspected, the court may as part of a child arrangements application:

  • Order a CAFCASS officer (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to investigate.
  • Order for a child psychologist or expert to give their opinion.
  • Make or vary a Child Arrangements Order to ensure contact with both parents.

In some cases, if alienation is proven and serious, the court could even transfer primary care of the child to the other parent. Every case is different, which is why it's so important to have professional advice.

Moving Forward

Dealing with parental alienation is emotionally exhausting. But you don't have to face it alone. With the right support, it is possible to rebuild your relationship with your child and to create healthier patterns for the future. At Family Law Consultants, we've supported many parents through these situations. We understand how painful it can feel — but also how important it is to act quickly and carefully. If you think your child may be caught up in parental alienation, we're here to help.

Get Support Today

If you are worried about parental alienation, we recommend booking an initial consultation with one of our family solicitors. We can talk through your situation, explain your legal options, and support you in protecting your relationship with your child.

Visit our website to book your consultation www.familylawconsultants.co.uk

Parental Alienation

Written by Joanne Bennett

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